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Jebus Master Apprentice and Proud Supporter of an Orwellian Society
Nov. 6th, 2009
06:30 am - Italian joke about engineers, doctors and lawyers
Il Capo della NASA deve scegliere - fra tre persone - chi vuole andare a fare un pericoloso viaggio su Marte. Chiede per primo ad un ingegnere: "Quanto vuoi per fare questo rischioso volo?" "Voglio 5 milioni, così posso fare una donazione per prevenire gli incidenti sui cantieri". Domanda poi al secondo, un medico. "E tu, che somma desideri?" "10 milioni, di cui metà per la mia famiglia ed il resto per la lotta al cancro". Infine pone al domanda al terzo, un AVVOCATO. Il professionista risponde sussurrandogli all'orecchio:"Dammi 15 milioni". "Perchè così tanto?" domanda il Capo. "Beh, bisbiglia il legale, se scegli me ti regalo 5 milioni, mi tengo altri 5 milioni come parcella e con i restanti 5 milioni MANDIAMO SU MARTE L'INGEGNERE!" | The NASA Director must choose between three people who want to make a dangerous journey to Mars. First the engineer is asked: "How much do you want if you make this risky flight?" "I want 5 million for preventing accidents on construction sites." Then the physician answers: "10 million, of which half for my family and the rest to fight cancer." Finally the lawyer whispers in his ear: "Give me 15 million." "Why so much?" asks the Director. "Well," the lawyer whispers to him, "if you choose me I'll give you 5 million, I keep another 5 million as the fee and with the remaining 5 million will send to Mars THE ENGINEER!" |
Here is the straight version from a source in English (which seems to have lost a few details in the above translation):
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars, and they needed someone very special since only one person could go -- and it was a one-way mission: they'd couldn't return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked why he was most qualified and how much he wanted to be paid.
"I'm an engineer, so the mission would have the most chance for success because I can fix anything that goes wrong. As for pay," he said, "I want a million dollars because I want to donate it to M.I.T."
The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. "I'm a doctor, so I'd be able to keep myself alive to achieve the mission goals. I'd like $2 million: a million to my family, and the rest would be to fund the rest of my work on a technology I just invented that would save thousands of lives."
The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."
"How are you more qualified," asked the interview panel, "and why do you want so much more money?"
"Well," the lawyer replied, "Clearly the doctor is full of himself; if you give me $3 million, I'll give you $1 million, I'll keep $1 million, and we'll send the engineer to Mars."
Oct. 29th, 2009
08:44 pm - Afghanistan War
“Our soldiers are not to blame. They’ve fought incredibly bravely in adverse conditions. But to occupy towns and villages temporarily has little value in such a vast land where the insurgents can just disappear into the hills.” He went on to request extra troops and equipment. “Without them, without a lot more men, this war will continue for a very, very long time,” he said.
-Sergei Akhromeyev, the commander of the Soviet armed forces, to the Soviet Union’s Politburo on Nov. 13, 1986
Oct. 24th, 2009
12:16 pm - Gott ist todt!
| Nachdem Buddha todt war, zeigte man noch Jahrhunderte lang seinen Schatten in einer Höhle, — einen ungeheuren schauerlichen Schatten. Gott ist todt: aber so wie die Art der Menschen ist, wird es vielleicht noch Jahrtausende lang Höhlen geben, in denen man seinen Schatten zeigt. — Und wir — wir müssen auch noch seinen Schatten besiegen! -1882 |
After Buddha died, they still showed his shadow for centuries in a cave - a tremendous gruesome shadow. God is dead: but given the way man is, there will perhaps be caves for thousands of years yet, in which his shadow is shown. - And we - we still have to vanquish his shadow! |
Oct. 22nd, 2009
05:20 am - 250 years on, Mr Le Docteur Ralph is still relevant
Il y avait dans le voisinage un derviche très fameux, qui passait pour le meilleur philosophe de la Turquie; ils allèrent le consulter; Pangloss porta la parole, et lui dit: — Maître, nous venons vous prier de nous dire pourquoi un aussi étrange animal que l’homme a été formé. — De quoi te mêles-tu? dit le derviche, est-ce là ton affaire? — Mais, mon Révérend Père, dit Candide, il y a horriblement de mal sur la terre. — Qu’importe, dit le derviche, qu’il y ait du mal ou du bien? Quand sa Hautesse envoie un vaisseau en Égypte, s’embarrasse-t-elle si les souris qui sont dans le vaisseau sont à leur aise ou non? Candide - 1759 |
In the neighborhood lived a famous dervish who passed for the best philosopher in Turkey; they went to consult him: Pangloss, who was their spokesman, addressed him thus: "Master, we come to entreat you to tell us why so strange an animal as man has been formed?" "Why do you trouble your head about it?" said the dervish; "is it any business of yours?" "But, Reverend Father," said Candide, "there is a horrible deal of evil on the earth." "What matters," said the dervish, "whether there is evil or good? When His Highness sends a ship to Egypt does he trouble his head whether the rats on the ship are at their ease or not?" |
Oct. 18th, 2009
Sep. 29th, 2009
05:53 am - What have we learned in the past 300+ years?
Death the Leveller THE glories of our blood and state Are shadows, not substantial things; There is no armour against fate; Death lays his icy hand on kings: Sceptre and crown Must tumble down, And in the dust be equal made With the poor crooked scythe and spade. Some men with swords may reap the field, And plant fresh laurels where they kill; But their strong nerves at last must yield— They tame but one another still: Early or late They stoop to fate, And must give up their murmuring breath When they, pale captives, creep to death. The garlands wither on your brow: Then boast no more your mighty deeds; Upon Death's purple altar now See where the victor-victim bleeds. Your heads must come To the cold tomb: Only the actions of the just Smell sweet, and blossom in their dust. |
Moartea - Judecătoarea Gloriile sângelui şi statului nostru Sunt umbre, lucruri efemere; Nu există nici o armură împotriva soartei; Moartea pune mâna îngheţată pe regi: Sceptru şi coroana Trebuie să cadă, Şi în praf să fie egală Cu săraca coasă strâmbă şi lopata. Unii oameni cu săbii pot cosi ogorul, Şi să planteze lauri proaspeţi, acolo unde ei ucid; Dar nervii lor puternici eventual cedează - Ei se îmblânzesc, unii pe alţii încă: Devreme sau târziu Soarta-i doboară, Şi respiraţia lor îşi va opri susurul Când ei, prizonieri palizi, se vor târî spre moarte. Ghirlandele vi se veştejesc pe frunţi: Nu vă mai laudaţi cu fapte măreţe; La altarul mov al morţii acum Vedeţi unde învingătorul-victimă sângerează. Capete voastre trebuie să vină La mormântul rece: Numai acţiunile celor drepţi Miros dulce, şi înfloresc în praful lor. |
by James Shirley, before 1666
Sep. 9th, 2009
Sep. 5th, 2009
06:54 am - US Healthcare and Death Panels
As people got into a frenzy about the US govt pulling the plug on Grandma, WaPo posted a level-headed article about the issue. Some extracts:
A quarter of Medicare costs -- totaling $100 billion a year -- are incurred in the final year of patients' lives, and 40 percent of that in the last month.
The directives are power-of-attorney forms that protect physicians and family members against liability, and the hospital makes clear to its doctors that they are expected to follow them. Today, more than 90 percent of people in town have directives when they die, double the national average.
The reliance on directives has an impact on the type of care people receive: Gundersen patients spend 13.5 days on average in the hospital in their final two years of life, at an average cost of $18,000. That is in contrast with big-city hospitals such as the University of California at Los Angeles medical centers (31 days and $59,000), the University of Miami Hospital (39 days, $64,000) and New York University's Langone Medical Center (54 days, $66,000).
The discussions do not promote less aggressive care, he said: "We're not trying to talk them into anything. We're trying to understand their values and goals, and tell them what medical science can and can't do." But many people do settle on less care. "In our community," he said, "people don't want to die hooked up to machines."
So, runaway Medicare costs can be reigned in by simply informing people of their end-of-life choices and letting them draw up a power-of-attorney to state their preferences. Maybe that sounds Orwellian to Amerisheeple, but it's just sensible, fiscally-conservative, pro-personal-choice policy, IMO.
Aug. 30th, 2009
09:36 am - The pope and the rabbi silent debate
| Long ago, the Pope decreed that all Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Rome. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal: He would have a religious debate with a leader from the Jewish community. If the Jewish leader won the debate, the Jews would be permitted to stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would have to convert or leave. The Jewish community picked Rabbi Moishe to represent them in the debate. The Rabbi, however, could not speak Latin; and the Pope could not speak Yiddish. So it was decided that this would be a "silent" debate. On the day of the great debate, the Pope and the Rabbi sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Rabbi Moishe looked back and raised one finger. Next, the Pope waved one finger around his head. Rabbi Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and chalice of wine. Rabbi Moishe pulled out an apple. With that, the Pope stood up and said, "I concede the debate. This man has bested me. The Jews can stay." Later, the Cardinals gathered around the Pope, asking him what had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our faiths. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us of our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue." Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask Rabbi Moishe how he'd won. Rabbi Moishe said: "I haven't a clue. First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that Rome would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here." "And then?" asked a woman. "Who knows?" said Rabbi Moishe. "He took out his lunch, so I took out mine." |
In some versions, the rabbi is not named. In others, the Jews are not given the alternative to convert, or Rome is switched for the whole of Italy, or the lead-in is "Some centuries ago", or the punch line is "We broke for lunch". They are little clues about the teller's sensibilities, but most telling is the joke originator's irreverent interpretation of the debate from the rabbi's POV. It's in the same vein as the Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch joke or the joke about rabbi brokering the argument between the priest and the vicar about which one looks more like Jesus. And to conclude my dull deconstruction, here is another abrahamic joke:
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Aug. 14th, 2009
09:24 am - Merrill bonuses and Obama's mask
So, it turns out that more than 2/3 of Merrill bonuses were discretionary:
Merrill had little choice but to pay many of the bonuses, Mr. Liman said. Of the $3.6 billion, Merrill had committed $850 million in the form of guaranteed bonuses. Mr. Liman said the rest of the money was shared among 39,000 workers who received average payments of $91,000 — though he did not mention that there were 696 people at Merrill who made more than $1 million in bonuses.
“I’m glad you think that $91,000 is not a lot of money,” the judge said. “I wish the average American was making $91,000.”
Another black mark for Obama in my book: although he campaigned as a left-leaning Dem (as most Dems do especially in the primaries), he slipped in March and admitted to a few fellow DLC-ers that he's actually a New Democrat (decoding ring applied: right-leaning Democrat as a good portion of Dems, Senators especially, are nowadays). This is not a revelation really since Obama's voting record already shows that he was a closet DLC-er, but it's interesting that he let down his guard and a few DLC-ers already spilled the beans on him (maybe to claim him as trophy while they go licking more corporate boots). As a primer on the Dems transformation through/by the DLC gauntlet and their major shift from left (i.e. labor) to right (i.e. corporate) donations, see Robert Dreyfuss' excellent 2001 article in the American Prospect, How the DLC does it.
Aug. 8th, 2009
Aug. 1st, 2009
Jul. 29th, 2009
Jul. 28th, 2009
07:00 am - DIMĂNDAREA PĂRINTEASCĂ
Părinteasca dimăndari N-asprigiură cu foc mari Fraț di mumă și di-unu tată Noi, Armăni di eta toată. | Părinteasca blestemare Poruncește cu foc mare Frați de-o mumă și de-un tată Noi, Aromâni din vremea toată. |
Di sumu pocili di murminți Astrigă a noșci buni părinți: „Tut harauă s-aibă-n casă Ațel ți limba nu ș-alasă! | De sub lezpezi de morminte Strigă ai noștri buni părinți „Blestem mare s-aibă în casă Care-și lasă limba lui. |
El tu vatra-i părintească Fumeaia să-și hărăsească; Di fumei căruni s-bași, Naț tu leagăn tut să-nfași. | El în vatra-i părintească Femeia să nu-i nască Din familie cununi să nu pupe Prunc în leagăn să nu-nfașe. |
Cari doari ti-a lui mumă Ș-ti părintească-i numă – S-lu-aibă doara Domnului Și dulțeamea somnului! | Care fuge de-a lui mumă Și de părintescu-i nume - Să nu aibă dorul Domnului Și dulceața somnului! |
Cari și-alasă limba lui Aumbra să-i hibă calea lui Și-ma s-lu-acață jali ș-chisă Poarta a noastâ-i tut dișchisă!” | Care-și lasă limba lui Cu bine să fie calea lui Și dacă îl prinde jale și tristețe Poarta noastră e tot deschisă!" |
Constantin Belemace și Vasili Barba
Jul. 24th, 2009
08:12 am - Ponzi schemes: Madoff vs GM common stock
Madoff bilked $20B off rich suckers and got 150 years prison sentence.
GM common stock peddlers bilked $48B off pensioners mostly and got away:
Jul. 22nd, 2009
06:38 am - US v OECD healthcare costs and life expectancy
| Life Expectancy at Birth (1999) |
Per Capita Cost PPP - 2001 | |
| Australia | 79.0 | $2,513 |
| Austria | 78.1 | $2,191 |
| Belgium | 77.6 | $2,490 |
| Canada | 79.0 | $2,792 |
| Denmark | 76.6 | $2,503 |
| Finland | 77.4 | $1,841 |
| France | 78.8 | $2,561 |
| Germany | 77.7 | $2,808 |
| Greece | 78.1 | $1,511 |
| Iceland | 79.6 | $2,643 |
| Italy | 79.0 | $2,212 |
| Japan | 80.6 | $2,131 |
| Netherlands | 77.9 | $2,626 |
| New Zealand | 78.3 | $1,710 |
| Norway | 78.4 | $2,920 |
| Spain | 78.6 | $1,600 |
| Sweden | 79.5 | $2,270 |
| United Kingdom | 77.4 | $1,992 |
| Non-U.S. Average | 78.4 | $2,295 |
| United States | 76.7 | $4,887 |
Source: OECD Health Care Statistics, 2004
See more on US healthcare and social security costs in this 2005 CEPR study.
Jul. 19th, 2009
Jul. 18th, 2009
Jul. 12th, 2009
10:22 pm - US DOJ+IRS v UBS
UBS is back in the news. They refuse to divulge the names of 52,000 Americans that have deposits with them. It's an interesting conundrum for the Swiss bankers - comply with American law or Swiss law:
The dispute between UBS and the United States has escalated into a diplomatic drama and has threatened to pierce the veil of Swiss financial secrecy. UBS and the Swiss government have said they will not disclose client names, even if ordered by a judge, because doing so would violate Swiss laws governing financial secrecy and subject UBS executives to prosecution in Switzerland.
This is a classic case of "some are more equal than others": the Joes and Janes that can't afford a Swiss bank account have to pay taxes till they bleed, while a few can evade taxes by simply parking it off-shore out of IRS's and DOJ's reach. Although, IRS did manage to ferret 250 names out of the Swiss back in the winter, watch closely as the DOJ and IRS file their teeth on this one...
Jun. 28th, 2009
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